not of this world

as many of you may already know, my favorite disney movie of all time is
the little mermaid.
even through the countless number of sermons I've heard about it being a horrible example for little girls and a nightmare for parents who have to deal with little girls who are always in a state of wanting more, I still love it.
random fact: it was made on the year I was born--what a lucky year.

up until now, however, I have never really thought of myself as being like ariel.
I remember wanting to be like her: the strongheaded, free-spirited redhead who took chances and did everything she could to get what she wanted.
and of course, I memorized all the lyrics and pranced around everywhere singing the songs.
but the lyrics never hit me until I grew up and I didn't really think about them until recently:

but who cares, no big deal, I want more...

humans, as imperfect&superficial as we are, are all one in the same: we simply want more.
though I was and still am a very happy, only child with my abundant supply of toys and little gadgets, I can recall a good several instances when I was not fully satisfied with what I had.
it can safely be said that this tendency has grown as I myself grew more accustomed to the world and what it had to offer me.
in other words, I have fallen in love with the world.

as of late, this method of thinking has been a bit more noticeable in my thought-processes.
I find myself wondering what I would do with just a little more of this and just a pinch more of that.
and then, it totally hits me like a ton of bricks:
I have way more than enough, and if I continue to be in constant want, I will never be satisfied.

it's just so interesting to me how easily satan can get into my brain and convince me into thinking that I should be in want of the next best thing and that this accomplishment will bring everlasting satisfaction--that is, until the next model comes to be.
but of course, God is truly faithful and has given and is continuing to give me subtle but true reminders of how unsatisfying the world can be.
the life of consumerism is a never ending cycle that only leads to disappointment and unhappiness.
as much as I love ariel, I need to kiss the world goodbye. once and for all.

it was a beautiful letdown
the day I knew
that all the riches the world had to offer me
will never do

a bit of honesty

I consider myself to be pretty understanding when it comes to the subject of sex--sex not in the sense of intercourse but in the discussion of the male and the female.
each sex has its own strengths&weaknesses that all should take time to acknowledge and respect.
but my patience has been tried one too many times and right now, I am truly sick of the prejudices laid out against the women of our time.
you can brand me as a hardcore feminist or say that I'm overreacting, but take note that you have then tainted yourself with the mark of ignorance.
my point is not that women are better than men, or that they need to fight for their rights, because I only believe that men and women are different and that each should, in turn, respect the other.
as children of God, we are brothers and sisters who are all equally sinful and are no better than one another in the eyes of the Holy Father.
I have no spare time to waste with people who make rash judgments and general stereotypes about the female sex.
who's better or worse at driving, who can do things better--who cares?
it's such a stupid and endless debate that leaves people at different ends of the spectrum, angry at the other sex and prideful of their own.
I guess I never really tried to understand how feminism came to be.
now I see.
empathy has no regard for ignorant fools.

breaking the spell

I talked to a complete stranger last thursday during kcm fellowship at carl's jr.
to be perfectly frank, I initially thought he was just another bum getting a bite to eat, but he turned out to be an intellectual social anthropologist.
[note to self: do not judge a book by its cover]
thus began our talk of humanity, God, religion, church, and sin.
as I reminisce about our conversation, an analogy that he presented to me remains vivid:
as the pyramids of old erode from the harsh winds of time, so do our degrees of empathy from the tempests of worldly sin

this concept rings so true at this moment in my life.
I feel that though I am called to empathize with my brothers&sisters, the ways of sin corrupt my thoughts and harden my heart.
the degrees of my empathy are so variable to change depending on the clarity of the lens by which I view the world.
though God continues to purify my sight and cleanse my vision, the world is just as quick to defile it with its lies and deceptions.

lately, I have frequently found myself being confronted with the idea of loving the "unlovable."
putting myself in their shoes, seeing things from a different point of view, witnessing God's love in them, accepting that they, too, are human, cultivating a heart of love--this bountiful list just goes to show how there are so many ways to create in one's self a kind of compassion&understanding that Jesus continually displays to us.
"but," says the world, "it's so hard; so why try?"
it is hard. but I am willing.

Spirit now living and dwelling within me
keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus' face
let not the things of this world ever sway me
I'll run till I finish the race.

a little birdie once told me

there is a place where the sidewalk ends
and before the street begins,
and there the grass grows soft and white,
and there the sun burns crimson bright,
and there the moon-bird rests from his flight
to cool in the peppermint wind

wishing to find this place
tuning out the noise that surrounds
yearning for a prolonged, noiseless pause

in the sound of sheer silence,
be still and know He is God.

all you need is...

...some lovely girlfriends, good food, and good fun.
thought I was gonna say love huh?

valentines day 09:

lunch with the mommy
meet up with the ladies
confessions of a shopaholic&he's just not that into you
jjajangs&tahngsooyook
coffee&chat with sarebear
cue pictures&colorful woodenroses; one for you&one for me

cultural awakening

as missions seems to be the general talk of the town these days, I've found myself thinking about it a lot more than usual.
for those who don't know, I'm planning on going out on missions this summer to...who knows?
so after trying very hard to have a set preference, I just decided not to have one and see where God takes me.
it's kind of an exciting prospect, no?

after talking to people and thinking profusely about which country I want, I think I just realized how much time I was wasting trying to decide when ultimately it's God's decision.
to be honest, I don't know much or anything at all about these countries: uganda, russia, india, china, japan.
so when people started telling me about their experiences, my eyes were opened and every country seemed equally amazing.
another lesson learned: don't be quick to close off your heart.

on that note: I'm gonna need a lot of prayer. and since you all love me, pray for me :)

sweet dreams are made of these

I love love love finding excuses to dress up.
if I could, I would absolutely wear dresses all day, everyday.




the christian dior spring couture collection is quite magnificent.

second chances

maybe it's just me, but I feel that these days, people are hesitant to give things a second chance.
I mean, if it sucked the first time, then why try again right?
as an avid believer of this theory, I confess that I've been very reluctant to give things another try.
but recently, I've found myself opening up a little to the prejudices that I firmly upheld:

01. the terminal- ohmygosh the first time I watched this movie, I almost fell asleep. but because I was continually presented with it due to a certain friend of mine, I watched it again and found it much more pleasant the second time. and the third.

02. wahoos- this one was a toughy. I had a horrible experience the first time, so it was super hard for me to try it again. but I tried it again, and this time with a recommendation from a friend that turned out to be very delicious.

03. celery&peanut butter-I didn't touch this combination since preschool (ants on a log) mainly because of my detest for about 2/3 of vegetables (as seen below). but due to a recent rediscovery of this refreshingly delicious treat, I have found myself very pleased with this snack. too bad there's a supposed salmonella crisis with peanut butter right now.

there are certain things, however, that do not deserve second chances:

01. toystory-I've given both this one and its sequel about thirty chances and they both have failed me every. single. time.

02. certain vegetables: mushrooms, raw onions, olives, eggplant, bell peppers, cauliflower, and my worst enemy--broccoli. yuck.

03. beowulf&the canterbury tales-need i say more?


but anyhooligans. I think I want to try giving certain things a second try.
we shall see how that goes.