to believe is to begin

an excerpt from my nicaragua journal [july 11, 2009 saturday]:

a response to matthew 8 and 9
"it surprises me just how much faith people had back in the day. when people asked Jesus to heal sicknesses, diseases, and even death, they asked with such an assured tone, as if they were positively certain of his powers. times have changed. we live in a world where things are questioned over and over again and such miracles are scarcely seen or believed. doubt and skepticism have sunk deep into our souls and have affected our faiths so discreetly. childlike faith. I desire it so much. just as a child wholeheartedly believes in a magic trick, I wish to believe in the sheer power of God and to understand the full extent of His magnificence"

as I sat at church today listening to the sermon, this particular journal entry of mine came to mind. today's focus was this: "give us this day our daily bread." this statement is a true stamp of faith. this is meant to be prayed on a daily basis with a confidence that God will provide for our needs. God provided the Israelites with manna every single day, commanding them to take only as much as they needed, because He would faithfully provide again the next day. we should be able to ask God for our needs with courage and boldness, not with fear and trembling. He loves us so much and would give us anything, and yet we fail to acknowledge Him as such a being. what a profound concept.
people tend to glaze over deuteronomy...

temporary lapse

so yesterday I spent a large chunk of my time watching season four of project runway.
in one of the episodes, a contestant said this:
"life is too short to waste on a bad outfit"
my immediate response to this was "that is so true"
and then the wheels in my head started turning...

there's really no reason why we should wear something that we're not comfortable in.
I think a lot of the time, I find myself trying to make an outfit work when it hasn't done me any good in the past.
with this in mind, I felt convicted to go through my closet, pick out all the items that I've failed with and donate them to charity.

now another thought crept in my head along the same time.
I felt as though because "life is too short", we should keep buying what is "good" so that we can figure out what works and therefore look good all the time.
and with this small spark, my shopaholic little self came rushing out and proceeded to fill my brain with thoughts of shopping.
now this is the power that ten little words had on my thought processes.

I recount this memory, because lately I've been dealing with the notion of need vs. want. of course, there are endless amounts of things that I want as I browse online or walk into malls. but as I peer into my closet, I realize that there is absolutely nothing that I need.

the media is definitely good at what it does and it grows stronger and stronger as the days pass. movies, tvshows, magazines are the greatest instruments of advertisements. they make things look so accessible and so glamorous that it's hard to snap back into reality.
craziness I tell ya.

glass half full

I've missed you bloggy.
been back from nicaragua for about two weeks now, but my head still remains in the clouds.
still chewing on the things I've learned--man are they sweet.
totally missed just chillin and hanging out with loved ones.
soaking in the summer; it's been good to me thus far.
just gotta slow it down a bit; too much has happened in so little time.
but God is too good to me--that's a fact.

I miss this.