stranger than fiction

lately I've been realizing that I am getting older.
my memory is less reliable, more responsibilities are being handed to me, I need more rest than usual and my thinking patterns have changed.
to be honest, I enjoy it.
I enjoy the fact that there is clear evidence of the fact that I am growing up.
but at the very same time this is going on, I find that I long for the things that remind me of childhood.
I love eating all the cotton candy I want.
I love dressing up.
I love playing silly games.
so at this very interesting stage, my twentieth year of life, I find myself...
torn in a sense.
torn between the extremes of life,
being attracted to both and neither at the same time.
life here is so amusing.

deciphering me

so when is the process of learning about yourself fully over?
answer: never.

it's really amazing how much I am still learning about myself.
as I verbalize certain truths or dig my past for clues, I find that there are so many answers that explain why I am the way that I am today.
some recollections rest fondly in the shallow surfaces of my mind,
whereas others have to be reached for in the darker abyss of hazy, blocked areas.
confronting. accepting. then moving on.

we are all such intricate beings.
I love it.
isn't God the coolest?

cracking the code

gaudeamus igitur
iuvenes dum sumus
post incundum iuventutem
post molestam senectutem
nos habebit humus

it may be a dead language,
but latin is so beautiful.

through the looking glass

the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
jeremiah 17:9

speak to me

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have faith, so as to remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,
but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1 corinthians 13: 1-7

both a rebuke
and a reminder.

where the wild things are

sometimes,
I think entirely too much for my own good.