paradigm shift

as I crawled into bed at around 1230 last night, I decided to read a chapter of Big God (book #4) and then start The Giver. I promised myself to read only until 1, because I've been sleeping so late. like almost everybody, I had read this book at least twice in my life, once in junior high and once in high school. but this time around, it felt so much more profound. it's been a while since I've picked up a book and refused to put it down until I've finished. last night, I went to sleep at 245, when I had flipped the last page of The Giver and finally set it down.

it's an extraordinary thing when one rereads a text years later and finds that it has changed. or to be more precise, that one's own self has changed. let me explain.

when I had first read The Giver, I had felt optimistic about the outcome. surely Jonas and Gabriel made it to Elsewhere and have started a new life there. but reading the story again, I couldn't help but feel sadness for their dismal ends. and especially after watching movies like inception, I wondered if the "escape" was all a dream, and Jonas was still trapped in his twisted utopia.

the text is exactly the same as it was from years back. there has been no new version printed since 1993 when it was published. however, I, the reader, have changed. my thoughts, my perceptions, my analyses have become, in a sense, less innocent. and less optimistic.

after finishing the story, I continued on to the pages marked "A Conversation with Lois Lowry" and found this question and answer very interesting:

Q. Is it an optimistic ending? Does Jonas survive?
A. I will say that I find it an optimistic ending. How could it not be an optimistic ending, a happy ending, when that house is there with its lights on and music is playing? So I'm always kind of surprised and disappointed when some people tell me that they think the boy and the baby just die. I don't think they die. What form their new life takes is something I like people to figure out themselves. And each person will give it a different ending. I think they're out there somewhere and I think that their life has changed and their life is happy, and I would like to think that's true for the people they left behind as well.

I just don't buy it. it's coming from the author's voice herself, and yet, I can't bring myself to accept it. the magical sled on top of the hill--how did it get there? the scene was straight out of the memory that he received. the snow-topped hill and even down to the twinkling lights. it just seems so, unreal.

regardless, I realize why this is one of my favorite books. it's so imaginative and clever. and two hours went by like nothing.

I want to join a book club.

eat me!

coconut cake with chocolate chunks and coconut drizzle

finally baked something today. our little baking date turned into a full-on three course meal. and it was delicious.
1. sauteed green beans&bacon
2. lemon chicken with croutons
3. the cake seen above

I've been eating so well lately. thinking about going on the lemonade cleanse soon. detox my body.

while we were cooking, Court showed me this site where a guy writes his theory about what he thought inception was about. it's so crazy. I totally agree with it.
read me!

prince charming

after some consideration, I have decided that Zachary Levi > all boys.
nerdy, tall, cute, funny, older, CHRISTIAN, AND a singer?!
I think he just might be the closest thing to my ideal...
seriously.

read this

and watch this:

dime a dozen

I really like my vbs kids. they make me feel young. the girls are cute and different in their own special way. and the boys call me emo cause I wear eyeliner. I find that hysterical.
snl shorts have been my daily source of laughter. andy samberg is so hilarious.
I've been getting into bones. the relationship between bones and booth is unrealistic, but I love it.
cleaning out my room, and also the garage and such, I realize that I have too much stuff. it's like never ending.
as I'm getting ready for my trip to NY, I've been looking at vintage suitcases. love them.
the scientist seems to follow me around everywhere lately. whenever I hear it, I smile.
finally bought a cake pan. now I need to use it. soon. gonna bake me a cake !
I was really craving the potato pancakes at ohop. it was fulfilled today. delicious.
inception was quite entertaining. jgl was so hot. even though he's kinda weird in real life.
God is really faithful. when you really sit down and pray earnestly, he hears. and more importantly, he answers.

lost and found

I quite enjoyed this.

just do something

this past week was a starting point for many things.

1. yoga. I decided to start taking yoga classes again. my body definitely missed it.

2. eating healthier. recently, I learned that carrot juice is a great prevention device against cancer and all sorts of other diseases. so I decided to drink a glass every morning. it's been really great. eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast has been good too. keeps my metabolism flowing throughout the day.

3. Big God by Britt Merrick. it's so interesting reading a book by a man who I've actually seen, heard and conversed with. I am liking it thus far. book #4.

4. praying more. I'm so thankful for this past weekend's college retreat. in the midst of the chill atmosphere (and I don't mean the weather, because it was 115 degrees where we were staying), I was very blessed by the times of genuine prayer and sharing.

5. a few convictions. they're a bit more personal. I hope to constantly remind myself of them.

apart from these, all I have to say is that I must watch inception very very soon. joseph gordon-levitt is calling my name. as is leo. and the story line looks intriguing too.

and I booked my tickets to NY for mid-august. excited!


"consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." luke 12:27

home sweet home

Canada was beautiful. but I truly missed home. and Chanel.
you learn to appreciate home after you've been abroad for a bit.

I finished Life of Pi during the six days of traveling. it was witty and tragic at the same time. enjoyable, but I'm still trying to soak in everything. I immediately felt like going to a zoo upon finishing it. I'm still thinking about what book #4 will be.

there's a considerable amount of sunlight even at 9:30pm. but shops close extremely early. around 7 or 8.

the legal drinking age is 19. thus, I took the opportunity to try out a few drinks.
there isn't much to do at night, so my parents and I went around to local pubs and bars and did a lot of eating and drinking. needless to say, I gained some weight that I must lose immediately.
1. white russian-didn't enjoy it. it was too strong for me.
2. appletini-sour and sweet. delicious.
3. strawberry daquiri-YUMS.
4. guinness beer-too strong and thick for my taste.
5. icewine-so good! I usually hate wine, but this type of dessert wine is really sweet.



there are very many lakes in Canada. I found out there are about 3 million. beautiful landscapes.

we saw a black bear, a momma grizzly bear and her two cubs, a grown deer, and a family of mountain goats.

houses are furnished with a great many windows. I loved that about the country. large windows are my favorite. but the weather is much too cold to live. California weather has spoiled me. although, I don't know what's going on these days. I expected it to be blazing hot when I got back, but it's been surprisingly chilly. hoping for warmer weather.